Can't Hold Us

Thinking back on this past year, a lot has changed in 365 days. One word sticks out to me that defines the happiness, sorrows, stresses, and blessings of this year.

Redemption.

A year ago, I was a pretty terrified individual who was very lost on her way. The last weeks leading up to last New Years Eve were filled with sleepless nights and anxiety attacks. The end of 2012 was spending evenings in the bishop's office, begging him for answers on why I was so trapped. 2012 was wishing I could be anywhere but in BYU, where every day was a slap to my courage, esteem, and strength to keep going. 2012 was pleading to any entity that would listen that I could be free.

2013 was my liberation.

It was the year to recognize that I could be saved from my pains, that I was not as lost as I thought I was. It was the year to pick up the pieces and build something more beautiful than what was there before. It was the year to see that I have potential, that I am strong, and that I am bigger than anything that thinks they're tougher than me.

It was the year I regained my freedom.

I'm eternally grateful for the influences that have helped me reach this stage of peace. I'm thankful....

For Elder Lee in teaching me about the Atonement of Christ and that its power has no limits, how essential unconditional love is to our lives, and that focusing on the happy things is far more effective than looking at the dark side.

For Catherine in keeping my head on straight during those moments when I started to lose all sense

For Kylee and all of our nights spent dancing like there was no one around

For Andrea for the awesome roommate that she is and for sticking with me on all our crazy adventures this semester

For my amazing roommates Kristin and Sandra, who remind me everyday to embrace life in the moment and to never let opportunities pass you by

For Josh, in helping me discover one of my greatest loves in life, live electronic music :)

For Central YSA 2nd Ward, in helping me remember that we're all struggling but that we can all build each other back up.

For Brenner, Kess, and Courtney for reminding me that true friends care for you unconditionally.

The wonderful people who read my blog and send me comments about my post to help convince me I'm not a total failure and loser.

For my wonderful neighbors Rafael, Brant, and Dustin for reminding me that it's ok to be a nerd. Like a major nerd. Like an embarassingly major nerd.

And most importantly, my wonderful family who never gives up on me and reminds me that I will ALWAYS be loved.

I look forward to 2014 as a time to recognize the full freedom of my liberation, to use my experiences to be a light to others, to show gratitude for the immeasurable divine guidance I have been blessed with, and to keep moving forward. YOLO my darlings :)

*And I had to dedicate this post to a Macklemore song because last month marks my first year with Macklemore. Thanks for sticking with me baby :* This song perfectly describes how I feel about this upcoming year.*