Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Little Wonders

Life is pretty overwhelming right now. My day is either a 12 hour workday or an 8 hour school day and my weekends are usually my day to catch up on my sanity. I tried to write my to do list on my hand the other day and I had to stop early when I realized the list went halfway up my arm. When someone tries to talk to me, I usually have to just nod and smile because my mind is in at least three different places and I can't focus on the conversation. Getting a text or call from someone stresses me out because that's just one more thing I have to give my limited attention to.

During this crazy time in my life, I've found that the best way to get through the long days is to recognize the very small mercies in my day. The little reminders that you are still loved and thought of. The little nudges to tell you you're always being looked after. The little reasons to remember the beauty of life.

Some of my favorites from life right now:

When Smiths has the buy two cereals, get milk free sale.

When you're late for work and all the lights in the busy downtown magically turn green.

When you spend the car ride home frustrated that you know you have nothing to eat at home for dinner and you walk into your apartment to find that your boyfriend waiting with one of your favorite meals on the table.

When the sun comes out every day when you have to walk to school.

When you see how much gas prices has gone up but when you go to fill up, you find out you have a 60 cents/gallon fuel reward.

When you have a terrible hair day yet your boyfriend still tells you that you look beautiful.

When I mess up on a little girl's teddy bear at work and her grandma still tells me I'm amazing at my job and made her grandkids day.

When a pair of $25 shoes you've been coveting after for days goes on sale for three bucks and your size is the last one left.

When my mom texts me a good night text randomly after I've had a particularly frustrating day.

When an Empire of the Sun song comes on the radio.

When customers compliment my outfit and ask me to pick out clothes for them.

When my family comes to visit me at work.

When a rainy day comes around and it stops raining while you're walking outside and it pours when you're inside.

When my teacher who has hundreds of students stops me after class to compliment my work or ask about life.

When my boyfriend calls me during the day just to check on me.

I could seriously go for hours. I'm very blessed despite my challenges. Even my challenges are tremendous blessings that I'm grateful for (usually). If your days feel like they're getting longer and harder, look for that invisible hand in your life that brings sweet little daily reminders that life is truly beautiful.

I'm one lucky girl.

Monday, March 10, 2014

Fake Empire

I never realized how much I hate social networking sites until this weekend.

It's seriously alarming to me the impressions people have about me simply by what I put on my Facebook. Which is pretty bizarre because I feel like all I've posted lately is a lot of Macklemore pictures and snarky comments about idiot customers. I use to think that it was only a handful of people that even pay attention to my posts. But after going back to the town were I grew up after not talking to some people for years, there were a lot of strange misconceptions people thought, simply by what I posted on my Facebook.

Believe it or not, I don't go out and party a lot.

In fact, I'm pretty much one of the most boring people ever.

Believe it or not, I'm not a heartbreaker on the prowl for more lives to ruin.

In fact, I have a heart that gets broken too.

Believe it or not, I didn't leave BYU because I'm rebellious.

In fact, I left BYU because I feel that it was an emotionally destructive environment for me.

Believe it or not, thinking that Mitt Romney is cuckoo for Cocoa-Puffs does not mean you're an Obama lover.

In fact, I think both parties are cuckoo for Cocoa-Puffs and voting nowadays is determining which Cocoa Puffs you can tolerate.

Believe it or not, just because I'm not following your fairy tale of a life plan does not mean I'm a screw-up.

In fact, I feel more on track in life than ever before.

Believe it or not, just because I'm not married does not mean I behind in life.

In fact, it probably means I'm a little more sane. And honestly, I'm not 100% sure if I've moved past the stage in my life when I think that boys are gross.

Hello readers, here's my re-introduction. I like rainy nights, Netflix dates, turquoise things, pretty rings, loud music, long socks, happy endings, and starry skies. I'm sweet, sassy, and witty. I work hard and take most things too seriously. Every decision I make requires endless amounts of decision, doubts, and deliberations. If I make a choice, it's only after I know it's perfectly right. I don't enjoy being spontaneous unless it's strictly organized and regulated spontaneity. Music speaks to my soul, whether my soul is aching or full of joy, and I love experiencing this music live. Sometimes I wish my heart was warmer, sometimes I wish I didn't care so much. One of my biggest fears is missing opportunities I could have taken and excelled at.

It's funny how much of our day-to-day lives we invest in being on social networking outlets, yet how little of our real lives we put on them. Perhaps this is a good thing, as most of my Facebook wall would consist of countless links to Britney Spears music or endless pictures of my bottomless Kool-Aid glass next to my bottomless pile of homework. I wish this wasn't such an issue but I'm definitely going to be more selective of what I post and who I share things with. However, I can assure you that my snarkiness and charm will never die. Deepest apologies.