Sunday, December 8, 2013

At Least I'm Not As Sad As I Used To Be

For some strange reason, people seem to think I have the answers to relationship problems... Which is odd because I honestly have more questions than anyone at this point in my life. I should be the one asking questions! But these are some thoughts that I've had this weekend about relationships. Maybe someone will find this useful. Hopefully. 

I was browsing on Facebook and I saw something reposted from Tumblr that said "I wish there were necklaces given to us that birth that were half of a unique shape and your soulmate wore the other half and they got warmer the closer together you were and colder the further away you were so you could go on this journey when you're ready to find your other half so that you could be spared all the pain and heartbreak of being played with by those who don't take dating as seriously as you do."

When I first read this, I thought "Holy Hanna, if only." Wouldn't that be so much better? You would know for sure who your other half was and there would be no pain along the way? No heartbreak, no trust issues, no anxiety, no tears, just the excitement on being on the journey? How easy, how simple..

How mindless.

I've been through my fair share of heartbreaks over the past few years, some of which are still very sensitive to me. And despite the tears, the depression, the aniexty, the self-hate, the loneliness, the uncertainty, and the general pains of these experiences, it's from this darkness that I've learned the most important lessons of life. And from these experiences, I've gained a better understanding of what love is. Love isn't necessarily finding a person that you automatically connect with on every level. Love is a journey, a never-ending process, a beautiful work in constant progress.

Would you really want destiny to determine your future for you? Would you want your future handed to you on a silver platter, with no effort or connection to it? With no emotional tie to your own future? Would you want the greatest treasure of your life simply handed to you, when you haven't taken the time to learn about and appreciate its unique and beautiful qualities?

In case you need a checkpoint, your answer should be NO.

Like anything in life, it's always better when you work for it. In school, in family life, in your occuation, in your relationships with others. When you work to improve yourself, your expectations and your strategies for success, the journey is always more impactful and the end result is always more meaningful. Ladies and gents, I know love is hard. I know relationships are hard. I know that boys/girls are stupid. I know that people are heartless. But that doesn't mean there isn't a treasure that you have to work to discover. That doesn't mean you give up. It means you get over it, move on, and learn from your mistakes. Or those mistakes will return to haunt you until you finally decide to learn from them.

Think of these hardships and sorrows as merely pieces to the road you're on. It's hard work and some days you just won't be able to think of your challenges in that way. But the journey is worth it and the treasure that you work towards is more precious then you could ever comprehend. Choose that you will get up and move on and NOT let your heartbreak rule you. Rule your heartbreak and let it teach you.