No I didn't really go to an AA meeting. But in a way, it sort of was. I had a meeting with my best friend Agency and my formidable enemy Accountability and had a confrontation that made me face the problems I've been trying to hide.
Agency is just fine and dandy. He always lets me do whatever I want without comment. He's that awesome babysitter that sits on the couch and stays glued to Kyle XY while you jump on the chairs, drink milk out of the carton, and tease your brothers til they cry. He's that parent that shrugs their shoulders and says "I don't care" to whatever you ask. He lets you try your strength to infinity and beyond without stopping you.
Then there was Accountability. That guy's just a brat. He's the babysitter that makes you take walks and learn about plants instead of playing. He's that parent that crosses their arms in front of their chest and shakes their finger at you for every deed you do. Judgment, Punishment, Agony, Anger.
Our decisions always come back to us at some point, no matter how far we try to run. Sometimes it runs up from behind and gives you the biggest hug you could ask for. Sometimes it runs up from behind and gives you the biggest slap in the face you could ask for. Regardless of what treatment our good friend Consequence decided to present us with, he never fails to greet us with something. And unfortunately, we never know how Consequence is going to greet us. But the one thing that we can always count on is that he'll be there.
Wouldn't it be better to greet Consequence first? To never have our back to him, to never ignore him, to always welcome him? If he's going to visit every time we make a decision, wouldn't it be better to be on alert? Sadly, that's not the way most of us work. We try to sprint in the other direction, we try to hide behind something else, we try to pretend we're someone else. But Consequence will always find you, no matter the distance, no matter the time, no matter the disguise.
Accept that Consequence is always going to come. This week, I was slapped in the face by Consequence and he slapped FREAKING HARD because I hid for so long. This week I was also hugged by, danced with, laughed with, and smiled at by Consequence. Welcome Consequence, not necessarily with open arms, but with responsibility, courage, determination, and a new hope for the future.
Love, peace, and pizza grease
Caylin
You, my dear, are wise. Very wise.
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