Monday, November 10, 2014

All The Right Moves

Music nowadays is freaking horrible. Absolutely terrible. The songs currently rocking the charts are polluted with misdirected and inappropriate messages about how we should see others.

I'm sure you've all heard that song "All About That Bass" by Meghan Trainor.

I'm bringing booty back
Go ahead and tell them skinny witches that
No, I'm just playing I know you think you're fat,
But I'm here to tell you that,
Every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top
Yeah, my momma she told me don't worry about your size
She says, boys they like a little more booty to hold at night
You know I won't be no stick-figure, silicone Barbie doll,
So, if that's what's you're into
Then go ahead and move along

Or "Anaconda" by Nicki Minaj

This one is for my witches with a fat caboose in the freaking club
I said, "Where my fat caboose big witches in the club?"
Screw those skinny witches,
Screw those skinny witches in the club

(And yes, I did edit out the lyrics for those that are more sensitive to the language. But caboose should definitely make its way into lyrics nowadays amirite?)

I don't know about you all but these songs, and many others on the radio, makes me feel horrible about myself. I'm all for people celebrating their bodies, whatever body type that is. I think it's awesome that there is this new movement in the music industry to push aside the norms of "beauty" and celebrate what we've got. But it's 100% NOT OK to celebrate that at the expense of others. It's never ok to lift yourself up by pushing others down. So does this mean that if I am a size two with no hips, butt, or boobs to speak of that I'm gross and unattractive? Oh, and screw me? Thanks bro. 

It's really easy to fall in this frame of mind when we need a boost of self-esteem. It doesn't even need to be about looks, if we're feeling down on ourselves about anything, it's easy to want to bring others down to our level with whatever flaw we can see. It's like a balance beam, if one side is pushed down then the other side must come up. This way of thinking is toxic to our relationships with others, whether they be strangers, acquaintances, or loved ones. It damages our perception of people and the world. It traps us in a never-ending and painful cycle where we have to depend on the flaws of others for self-validation. It's a very unhealthy thought process and it's pretty scary how accessible these ideas are to others. It's scary that shaming others is acceptable, cool, and even celebrated nowadays. 

I'm definitely not perfect at thinking kindly of others, especially when days are rough. There are those days when I see a picture of an old ex with a new girl and I convince myself that he seriously downgraded to make myself feel better. There are days when I see that someone got a better score on a test than me and I find some flaw to pick on to make me feel high and mighty. It's a vicious cycle that's hard to get off of. Temporarily, it eases our pain but in the long run, it makes us weaker when we recognize the only way we feel happiness is through the degradation of others. 

Search for better outlets and esteem boosters. Take yourself out for dinner. Pour yourself a glass of chocolate milk. Buy yourself a nice new pair of shoes. Surround yourself with people that love you. Find an uplifting song that speaks to your soul. Love yourself so you can learn to love others. And if it wasn't clear before, it is NEVER ok to lift yourself up by pushing others down. Ok? Ok.  

Love, peace, and all that jazz you beautiful people. 

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