Starlight

I've had a really hard time talking these past few days. I'm hoping writing will release some baggage.

I don't understand a lot of things. I don't understand why I have to keep being brought to this point. I don't understand why I need this lesson over and over again. I don't understand why I have to be broken again and again in the exact same place.

I don't understand why you think I'm invincible.

I think I've done an absolute fabulous job of proving I'm incompetent in these aspects of life. I think I've made it clear that I can't handle this anymore. I think I've exceeded all expectations in the category of screwing myself over.

I think I've done this enough times.

I don't want to be a pawn anymore. I don't want to be used. I don't want to be the end of a joke.

I don't want to be a player in this game.

Let me know when I'm considered worthy enough to understand the purpose behind it all. Let me know when I'm considered smart enough to see the bigger picture. Let me know when I'm considered good enough to have some questions answered.

I'm anxious for it